And thank you, Bubba
2007 was a satisfying year photographically but a much more satisfying one financially. And money is needed to pursue this hobby of photography so it’s a vital issue for this photographer.
You see, I manage money for a living. Mine and others’. And yes, I put my money where my mouth is. And that was a big bet against Bubba in the last half of 2007.
Let me tell you about Bubba, because we will all be paying higher taxes in 2008 to bail this loser out.
Bubba, you see, left school (if an American public school can even be graced with that title) at 16 to work in construction. Demand was great, the skill set dictated only the ability to press the trigger on a nail gun and, before you knew it, Bubba’s driveway saw that new Camaro (with 0% financing, of course, from the cretins in Detroit) and a lovely 8 miles-per-gallon SUV for the missus. Real Men drive GM, Bubba reassured himself.
Heck, what did Bubba want with education? He lied on his loan application, got an option-ARM loan on which he need not make any payments for a couple of years, then got the home reappraised twice, each time taking money out as the real estate bubble grew. Suddenly, Bubba had $300,000 in the bank and, well, who needs a job anyway with that sort of stash? So Bubba quit work and took the missus on a Caribbean cruise to celebrate his good fortune and the old lady’s new blonde dye hair job. The one with the streaks in it. Top dollar.
But Bubba, you see, is what is known as a swing voter. When he does manage to make it to the polling booth – not easy in view of his six pack of Bud a night habit – he labors mightily to cross the right box, a cross being about the limit of his writing skills. The most he ever reads is the tattoos on his arms and entertainment consists primarily of six hours of sports every evening on his new, widescreeen, flat panel TV. But when it comes to voting, Bubba knows which side his bread is buttered, and it’s the side which says ‘mortgage relief’. That’s something Bubba desperately needs as he has $800,000 of debt on a home he can’t sell for $500,000. Given that he’s a NINJA (No Income, No Job or Assets) borrower, his greatest fear is that the FBI turns up and slams him and the missus in the local pokey (at taxpayer expense, of course) for commiting a federal crime. He stole the money from the lender only no gun was required. Bubba and his lender were made for each other – the one too stupid to read, the other too greedy to care. Both will assure you they need government help.
So America has no choice for 2008 – Bubba must be saved, as the alternative of letting the major US banks – each of which is insolvent – collapse is simply not a choice in a culture that has abrogated capitalism and accountability for socialist protectionism in the interest of buying votes. With over $1 trillion of mortgage and real estate losses baked into the system (but not yet out of the oven) that’s some $6,700 per vote! And you thought Tammany Hall was corrupt?
But for every loser there’s a winner in the game known as the stock market, and the Bubba portfolio could not have been easier or more predictable as a moneymaker in 2007.
So I give you 2008 – the Year of Bubba. Not to mention the biggest recession since ….. well, you know, since the little matter back in ‘29.
Thanks for paying for all my gear needs, Bubba, and I do hope California subcontracts your jail term to some place really cheap and hot. Downtown Phoenix is quite the place in the summer, I understand, especially when the bankrupt gaol’s air conditioner goes on the fritz.
