iPad day is tomorrow.

One ‘sleep’ to go. At any rate, that’s how our son computes time.

To say that the preparations our eight year old, Winston, and I have undertaken for a smooth pick-up of the iPad tomorrow make D-Day pale in comparison would be an understatement.

Our nails are neatly trimmed in anticipation of some heavy touchscreen activity.

We have been busily working out, to better fight our way through the crowds at the Apple Store where we will be cycling, enabling a high speed getaway through the crazy traffic. We will have one of these for protection:

We’re not talking Dirty Harry’s effete .357 here. No. This is the real thing – the .44 Magnum. The Most Powerful Handgun made.

Our timing is also carefully strategized.

Special line for those with reservations, note. Nanny-nanny-boo-boo.

After much analysis we have concluded that the real loops will turn up at 6am and that the crowd will not dispel until sometime near noon. That’s when everyone is off to lunch at any one of the many chic eateries which constitute Burlingame Ave, CA, 94010, and it’s when we pounce. It takes us 5.5 minutes to cycle from home to store, so by departing at 11:39:30 PDT we time our arrival at 11:45:00 PDT. We contemplated an afternoon arrival but concluded that the store clerks (excuse me, Geniuses) would be so shagged out by then that customer service might not be all we expect. So AM it is.

We present our email to the chap at the head of the now empty ‘reservation’ line, breeze in, proffer plastic, and are out of there before the clock strikes noon.

And lest you think our planning horizon is a short one, let me refer you back to a piece I wrote in December, 2009 when profiling a Handy Bag for the G1 and two lenses. Well, naturally, I anticipated the iPad’s dimensions and can confirm that it will fit perfectly. Impressive, huh?

Well, here’s to the best business leader since Churchill. Maybe I should have named our boy Steve?

Disclosure: I neither own or have ever held a gun in my hands, a status I expect to take to the grave. On the other hand, I have pulled the trigger on Apple stock more times than I care to remember.