Strange but (mostly) effective.

I intensely dislike using a case with the iPad. It argues with the functionality of the device and can double the weight. You might as well carry a laptop.

However, I continue to insist on dropping my iPad whenever the occasion presents itself and my iPad 1 is off for a replacement back right now, all four corners badly bruised. One is so bad that the glass is sticking out and the rubber gasket is beginning to pull out. Concrete and iPads are not the best of friends.

The alternative is some sort of corner protection, as the iPad will insist on landing on a corner much as a piece of bread with marmalade will always land sticky side down, and statistical analysis be damned. We are talking Murphy’s Law here, not statistics. So I hunted around for stick-on corner rubber protectors and drew a blank.

The closest I could come is the unfortunately named iBallz, which place a hard rubber ball at each corner, held together with an ugly and dysfunctional looking elastic cord.

Bert with iBallz installed. On the iPad, that is.

Let’s get to the drawbacks first (an * indicates a fix or workaround exists):

• The whole becomes bulkier.
• The string and related lock are butt ugly and uncomfortable regardless of how placed.*
• The on-off switch at top right can only be worked with a fingernail on the left hand.*
• The rear facing camera is partly obscured.*
• The power cable port is a litttle trickier to access owing to the intrusive presence of the elastic cord.*
• Some 30% of the speaker grille at the lower left rear is obscured.*
• The headphone socket at top left is completely obscured.*
• The SIM card slot at the right (on iPads with 3G or 4G) is blocked.

Stated differently, the makers need to get off their rear ends and redesign these things to address the above issues, a trivial process. Don’t hold your breath, though – these problems apply equally to iPad 2 and iPad 1, though the latter has no camera to be obscured. It’s not like they haven’t had eons to fix the design errors. The complacency of the manufacturer is not a prescription for its survival.

Just about everything that is wrong with iBallz, here on iPad 3.
Arrow denotes almost buried on-off switch. Also note the partly obscured camera lens.

The redeeming qualities are significant, however. The balls – some sort of hard, matte plastic – are very light. They fit the corners on my iPad 3 tightly. And, most importantly, they provide real protection. I have not had the courage to drop test this on the driveway; be patient, Mother Nature will doubtless provide the data sooner rather than later. Place the iPad down on a flat surface and neither glass or back will touch anything. Further, the balls provide a surprisingly comfortable hold when using the iPad on your lap, meaningfully superior to using it without the balls. In fact, I would miss them were they to be removed. The elastic cord can be pulled pretty tight and lifting the iPad by it causes no concerns, but it remains ugly and out of keeping with the iPad’s design. With the balls fitted it is much easier to lift the iPad from a flat surface with one hand owing to the stand-off, otherwise a risk-fraught exercise made more so by the bevelled edges on iPad 2 and 3. iPad 1 is far superior in this regard. Even with the cord removed, picking up the iPad with just one hand is night-and-day better.

Solutions to the bad stuff: I have cut off the elastic cord, as it’s an awful kluge. They should have dispensed with the sliding lock and simply have spec’d the length of an endless cord correctly, redesigning the balls to bring the cord far closer to the edges of the iPad. I placed a dab of glue on each corner on the back of the iPad to install the balls, using a glue whose residue is easily removed when the date of sale comes.

I have also relieved the top right ball with a Dremel tool to restore the camera function, and to make the on-off switch more accessible. This one has to be glued very carefully as you do not want glue on the camera lens (unless you like Holga-quality images) or on the on-off switch.

The relatively large relief for the camera’s lens is dictated by its wide angle of view.
The on-off switch no longer needs a fingerail to operate. Fit remains tight.

Though the top left ball obscures the headphone socket, I’ll leave that alone as I use wireless, Bluetooth headphones. I’ll leave the lower left ball, the one which obscures the iPad’s speaker grille, unchanged, as that speaker is poor in any case. Headphones are the way to go for quality sound. The obstruction of the SIM card slot is a non issue for me as I do not change SIM cards.

Too bad the balls aren’t even smaller, but it’s a start. The maker claims these fit all three iPad generations. So far I have only tried them on iPad 3. The profile of the slot is clearly intended for the squarer iPad 1, another indicator of the maker’s sloth in not redesigning this for iPad 2 and 3 with their tapered edges. Mine ran $25 from Amazon and alternative colors are available, including pink for the girlie set.

Insurance: This is another alternative, and a costly one. Reckon on $100 for two years of drop, failure and theft coverage. There are two more drawbacks, over and above the cost. One is that the iPad is gone when out for repair – that’s an awful thought. The other is that insurers get rich by not paying claims, so good luck in recovering. The integrity of that business makes the people at the Vampire Squid seem short-listed for canonization, by comparison.

Conclusion: A poorly thought out, poorly engineered, sloppy product which needs a bit of work to make it decent looking and practical. Way overpriced at $25, shipped, but I can’t find an alternative for the $5 this is worth.

A disgusted Bert models the final thing. The Mickey Mouse iPad.

As for screen protectors, save your money. After two years of brutalizing iPad 1 with no case or screen protector, often as not tossed in a bag, the screen remains perfect and with not a scratch in sight. A screen protector, like the Zagg is not only a complete waste of money, the wonderful definition of the iPad 3’s screen will not benefit and chances are you will get bubbles when you install it. Like running a Ferrari on diesel.