{"id":4911,"date":"2009-12-21T03:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-12-21T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pindelski.org\/Photography\/?p=4911"},"modified":"2012-11-08T00:19:48","modified_gmt":"2012-11-08T07:19:48","slug":"depression","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pindelski.org\/Photography\/2009\/12\/21\/depression\/","title":{"rendered":"Depression"},"content":{"rendered":"

It comes with the territory.<\/i><\/p>\n

Churchill called it his Black Dog – the days where it seemed that all the effort and striving were for naught. No matter how you looked at things, all was lost.<\/p>\n

Well, it comes naturally with Slavic blood. Like mine. Where else could Dostoyevsky be a best selling author other than in Eastern Europe? And his readers, like Winston, drink to excess, compounding their depression rather than helping it.<\/p>\n

I have these Black Dog days frequently when looking at my pictures. The depression part, not the drinking, that is. While I now do my ‘snap a day’ thing on my photoblog<\/a> that’s not where I expect to find many of my best pictures. It’s a place to think aloud, experiment and cull for later publication. Those that make the cut I place on my more static web site<\/a> and it’s that which causes the depression.<\/p>\n

I mean, after all these years, I sometimes think there is absolutely nothing to show for the effort.<\/p>\n

For example, I have always loved this picture, which says a lot about the England I adore – some people enjoying the park on a rare, sunny day with the lady standing in the way only an eccentric nation could understand, to get a better view of a passing parade. I remember taking that as if it was today<\/i> and I knew it was fabulous. Or is it?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Green Park. London, 1973<\/i><\/center><\/p>\n

Then this one has only improved with age, now that we live in a time where you cannot get within hundreds of yards of Britain’s center of power without all sorts of clearances. I loved it when I snapped it and I like it even more now. Or do I?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Outside Number Ten. London, 1974<\/i><\/center><\/p>\n

I was especially happy with the next image – the light just so, the colors simple. Or am I mistaken?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Thinking of Hopper. San Diego, 1997<\/i><\/center><\/p>\n

The next snap has everything I could think would make a perfect color picture – a sense of abstraction, a monochromatic palette and I love the composition. Or do I?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Sky. Bermuda, 1999<\/i><\/center><\/p>\n

For an abundant sense of mystery, I adore this. Or do I despise it for its sheer ordinariness?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Penseur. Cayucos, 2005<\/i><\/center><\/p>\n

Finally, I keep telling myself that my best is yet to come. That I still have ‘it’. That my sense of color and composition gets stronger with the passing years. Or is this simply self delusion passing for a defence mechanism?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Minuet in Green. San Francisco, 2009<\/i><\/center><\/p>\n

Do you see where I’m coming from? Sometimes it just all seems hopeless. Maybe this whole photography thing is just a mindless time sink?<\/p>\n

Well, I’m 58 today and that alone is sufficient cause for Depression.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It comes with the territory. Churchill called it his Black Dog – the days where it seemed that all the effort and striving were for naught. No matter how you looked at things, all was lost. Well, it comes naturally with Slavic blood. Like mine. Where else could Dostoyevsky be a best selling author other … Continue reading Depression<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4911","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-photographs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pindelski.org\/Photography\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4911","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pindelski.org\/Photography\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pindelski.org\/Photography\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pindelski.org\/Photography\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pindelski.org\/Photography\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4911"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"https:\/\/pindelski.org\/Photography\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4911\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4920,"href":"https:\/\/pindelski.org\/Photography\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4911\/revisions\/4920"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pindelski.org\/Photography\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4911"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pindelski.org\/Photography\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4911"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pindelski.org\/Photography\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4911"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}