Well, I tried.

…. and quite possibly the worst investment you can make.

Considering that Apple stock has secured four years for my boy Winston at Harvard, and maybe two more if he is set on becoming an educated derelict, I make it a point to check out the local Apple Store when each new iPhone is announced.

My intentions, you must understand, are purely altruistic. Aware that the majority is desperately in need of sound investment advice, I checked out the crowd, eager to dispense some wisdom at no cost.

Well, the crowd at the Burlingame California store was 150 yards long at 8:15am today. Maybe 250 people. I had Winston roll down the car window and proclaimed in a loud voice to all assembled “Buy the stock, not the phone!”.

Now, somewhat to my dismay, this caused hilarity among the assembled masses, comprised largely of students and the like. What I was expecting was a collective frown of concern and looks of contrition. But, no. The bozos lining up and ensuring Winston’s sojourn on the Charles River thought this the funniest thing they had heard all morning.

For the predominant demographic represented in like lines the world over, the iPhone is the single worst expenditure they could possibly make. Their ‘$200’ iPhone (actually $200 + $55 tax in CA, tax being charged on the unsubsidized $650 price) will end up costing them no less than $2,175 over the life of the two year contract. They would be far better off with a prepaid, throw away phone plus a MacBook Air or iPad, and pocket the substantial difference. This would afford them a far better computing experience on a keyboard you can actually use and a screen you can see, rather than the ridiculous ‘computer’ which the iPhone claims to be.

Oh! well. I tried. Meanwhile, keep buying those iPhones, suckers. I thank you and my son thanks you.

Disclosure: Long AAPL, BRCM, QCOM, OVTI.