An affordable, impulse purchase.

While ‘pick up in store’ ordering was not working on Apple’s web site yesterday, I swung by the local Apple Store today at what I thought was the 10am opening hour only to find they opened two hours early and that all the white models had been sold. We macho Hemingway fans have no use for white accoutrements in our lives, so I leave those to the feminine and effeminate set. I was happy to buy a black 16GB model. Judging from the number of tickets the clerk was holding for distribution to walk-in buyers, the store had maybe 50 black variants left. I was one of only five shoppers in the store and we were outnumbered by blue shirts four to one.

José lays on the sales pitch. I was obviously so thrilled that camera shake ensued.

Surprisingly I was subjected to a big sales pitch on covers (real men do not use covers) and on the AppleCare warranty. To read my take on warranties, click here and enjoy the math. I guess the falling margins at Apple Corp. have to be made up somehow.

Both subjectively and objectively I find the price to be too high. Subjectively it prices the Apple ecosystem at $129, as capable – if a tad smaller – competitors’ tablets come in at $199. Objectively I have yet to see a Bill of Materials analysis for the Mini, but given that it uses the A5X CPU from the iPad2 and like innards, with a smaller battery display, $329 is a stretch. Further Tim Cook stated in the fiscal Q4 AAPL earnings call that in the near term margins on the Mini will be below those usually commanded by Apple which rather mystified me. One cause, I am sure, is the costly Lightning connector. This seemingly simple, reversible device – and a vast improvement on the awful 30 pin one in use the past decade – includes a miniature DAC (Digital to Analog Converter). This DAC makes use of older analog accessories possible, though there is still some uncertainty over which ones will work. Any buyer of, say, external powered speakers would do well to wait until his chosen model comes with the new connector. Thus compatibility will be assured and clunky adapters avoided.

One reassuring part of the Apple ecosystem.

While non-Apple users may find it difficult to stomach the $129 premium for entry to the Apple ecosystem, emails like the one above, generated when I was setting the Mini up, are a mighty comfort. That and the knowledge that Apple is not selling your ID and tracking your activity the way the ethically challenged mob at Google does. I typed all the above while restoring my iPad Mini from the iPad 3 backup I had made to iCloud. It took some 12 minutes to setup the Mini to where I could start using it (10MBs broadband), whereupon I was asked whether I wanted to restore all my apps, as used on the iPad 3, to the iPad Mini. (They mean ‘copy’ not ‘restore’ but I let it go). The timing here is a function of app numbers and sizes as well as broadband speed, so there’s no point in reporting that here. The iPad Mini reported 95% charge once it came live. Nice.

The engineering of the backup/restore function would be hard to improve. The directions are clear, the process very simple, the results perfect. That alone is worth the $129 ecosystem entrance price in my book, but good luck convincing an Android user of that. He’s in the “What you never had you never missed” class. Even my home screen picture of Bert T. Border (currently running for the Presidency on a truth and honesty ticket) came over perfectly scaled.

Is 16GB enough? Depends on how many games you load, as these tend to be the biggest users of memory. Some of the more recent offerings (Infinity Blade, Nova) use over 1GB each – but you would have to confer with my ten year old son as to which ones should be on the Mini! I do not play games so cannot advise.

First impressions? A beautifully made device which feels far better in the hand than the chintzy and insubstantial iPhone 5. The iPhone 4/4S has the Leica feel; the 5 is a point-and-shoot by comparison. The Mini is very much in the Leica/pro-Nikon class of build. It’s easily held in a hand span when in portrait mode and the fit and finish are a delight. Weight is half that of iPad 3.

Screen definition is excellent – the same number of pixels as iPad 1/2 crammed into the smaller display, meaning excellent definition and allowing all existing apps to run unmodified. The font sizing in default apps like Mail is a tad small for these tired, old eyes (I’m 60, going on 20). Is the screen noticeably worse than the Retina Display in iPad3? Not to my eyes. Pixels are invisible on both.

Do you need to wait for the cellular model to reach stores? Depends. If you have an AT&T or Verizon (not sure about Sprint) iPhone you can use it as a cellular hotspot ($10/month AT&T, free on VZ with the base data plan, both support up to five devices simultaneously) to broadcast a cellular broadband signal, allowing any ‘tethered’ device like an iPad or MacBook to get on the web using the iPhone’s data plan. In that case a cellular version of the iPad is a waste of money. If, however, you have no hotspot access – and despite what you read wi-fi is still only sporadically available in civilization and not at all in the deep South – then a cellular model is the right choice. But you can wait for that as the acclaimed master of the Apple supply chain has made sure they are not available. Just like iPhone 5 and the new iMac. Nice work, Mr. Cook. The iPhone’s hotspot is turned on in Settings->General->Cellular->Personal Hotspot->On. You can choose your own password if the supplied one does not meet with your approval. On the iPad go to Settings->Wi-Fi and choose iPhone as your Wi-Fi source. For use on the road remember to turn Bluetooth on. When thus ‘tethered’ the usual Wi-Fi fan symbol will change to a pair of chain links in the status bar atop the display.

The iPhone’s hotspot in use on the iPad Mini.

In figuring how much memory you need in your iPad or iPad Mini, remember to allow 2.3GB for the operating system. The 16GB version has 13.7GB of storage available. If you buy a Microsoft Surface RT (that’s the crippled one, the full one remains unobtainable – Cook must be moonlighting) you will need some 14GB of space which is why the base model is 32GB. Nothing changes in Redmond, it seems, and code bloat remains the order of the day.

What this review cannot cover is any comparison with other makers’ tablets. I am tied into the Apple ecosystem with all my devices so have zero incentive to use Android, and know nothing about it. The value of the Apple ecosystem far exceeds any savings on cheaper Android devices. Further, it will be a cold day in hell before I use any tablet running a Microsoft operating system.

In Part II I cover cannibalization issues with the full sized iPads, performance and, of course, the cameras (like iPad2 and 3, there’s a front facing one for video calling and a rear facing one for taking pictures. It’s the latter that is of interest). I also address many of the things which are wrong with the iPad Mini. Suffice it to say that on a first acquaintance the iPad Mini fills a valid place in the product line from Apple and is a whole lot easier to carry than the already slim and slender full-sized device.

Flunked Retail 101.

When Apple released iPhone 1 in July 2007 I plunked down $600 for one immediately. The price was ridiculous but as an investor I needed to know about a device which proved to be transformational and disruptive. A few months later nice Mr. Jobs refunded me $200 for his bonheaded pricing.

Well, Jobs may be gone, but the boneheaded gene remains in the corridors of Cupertino, making its latest appearance in the guise of the $329 iPad Mini.

Let’s be clear. There is only one reason Apple entered the mini-tablet segment. To make money. They perceive that they can make significant amounts while retaining the brand’s dominance of the tablet sector by entering the mini segment. Only there are perfectly capable tablets like the Nexus 7 at $199 and much less capable ones like the Kindle Fire for even less. Would you pay $130 more for the Apple product, assuming you do not dine our nightly and do your own laundry? Obviously not. Your school age child can still pull up Wikipedia just fine on his $199 Nexus.

So say goodbye to conquest sales at that price. Because conquest sales are everything for Apple, just as they are for luxury car makers. Once you have used it, you do not go back. You just buy more. And you become a repeat customer.

So pricing the iPad Mini off standard profit margins makes no sense. It needs to be priced as a loss leader/entry product to get the poor schmuck using Android into the Apple ecosystem. And $329 is not going to do it.

$249 is the right price for this device. $329 sells to zealots and the converted only. $249 sells to everyone. And given that connectivity is the lifeblood of mobile device, where on earth is Apple coming from charging a $130 premium – like on the regular iPad – for a Qualcomm cellular chip which retails for $29? Now your Mini is $459. That’s plain stupid, Apple.

Coming before Xmas.

Supply chain rumors are now firming up and you can expect the iPad Mini to be here in time for (not so mini) Christmas stockings. Sporting a 7.8″ 4:3 aspect ratio display and iPad1 definition – perfectly adequate – here are my predictions on what this new tool will be. Weight? 11 ounces, meaning almost half that of the iPad3.

Apple will likely want to limit the number of versions, and keep the price as low as possible to compete with Nexus 7 and new Fire(s) though you might reasonably argue that the simply terrible line of Amazon’s Kindles/Fires is not a competitor at any price, including free. And if you are holding out for Microsoft’s Surface (why?), you are making the assumption that the world’s worst run tech company (OK, second worst after HP), the one with a chimpanzee in the corner office (HP has a dog in the rôle), will suddenly do something right. Good luck with that.

I would think that anyone would pay $50 more for a Mini than for a competitor’s offering, to buy into the ecosystem and superior UI, not to mention better usable life, one conformed OS across all mobile devices unlike the half-dozen or so versions of Android, robust anti-virus design and excellent resale value. Anyone using a non-iPad tablet invites ridicule on a variety of grounds, ranging from poor judgment to plain nuttiness.

So $250 (16GB) and $300 (32GB) compares to $200/250 for the Nexus 7, with an alloy back, unlike the chintzy plastic one on the Nexus pretending to be carbon fiber. That price will allow AAPL to preserve its 35% margin on the new device. Wifi mandatory as we all move to the cloud. Same screen definition as iPad1 – no Retina Display (cost and production limitations). The current premium is $130 for cellular, but they can easily get that down to $80 with the new 28nM Qualcomm comms chip. The new comms chips from Qualcomm and Broadcom will see to it that battery life remains high as they use far less power than current designs. The 4:3 aspect ratio, shared with the big iPads, will mean that no changes need be made to apps for them to work out of the box …. err, iCloud.

So my guess is (wifi/cellular):

• 16GB – $249/$329
• 32GB – $299/$379

Two cellular versions as now – AT&T and VZ, but the new Qualcomm chip which will be shared with iPhone 5 (due September 12) is multi-band, so no increase in production costs – it’s a software switch only. The ARM CPU (a rare example of Britain doing something really well) will be at least as fast as the one in iPad2. Start-up costs on that have been recovered ages ago. And that multi-band QCOM chip should even accommodate all three Chinese carriers (I expect AAPL to add China Mobile – 50% of that market – in early 2013), all European carriers (if Europe continues to exist, that is) not to mention losers like Sprint.

Decent front and rear-facing cameras will likely be included and a microphone of course.

But what will really move the needle is that this device will be snapped up by impecunious schools worldwide, because an iPad can do a heck of a better job of teaching than the joke that passes for ‘teachers’ in US public schools who couldn’t get a real job.

Disclosure: Long AAPL, QCOM, BRCM.

Strange but (mostly) effective.

I intensely dislike using a case with the iPad. It argues with the functionality of the device and can double the weight. You might as well carry a laptop.

However, I continue to insist on dropping my iPad whenever the occasion presents itself and my iPad 1 is off for a replacement back right now, all four corners badly bruised. One is so bad that the glass is sticking out and the rubber gasket is beginning to pull out. Concrete and iPads are not the best of friends.

The alternative is some sort of corner protection, as the iPad will insist on landing on a corner much as a piece of bread with marmalade will always land sticky side down, and statistical analysis be damned. We are talking Murphy’s Law here, not statistics. So I hunted around for stick-on corner rubber protectors and drew a blank.

The closest I could come is the unfortunately named iBallz, which place a hard rubber ball at each corner, held together with an ugly and dysfunctional looking elastic cord.

Bert with iBallz installed. On the iPad, that is.

Let’s get to the drawbacks first (an * indicates a fix or workaround exists):

• The whole becomes bulkier.
• The string and related lock are butt ugly and uncomfortable regardless of how placed.*
• The on-off switch at top right can only be worked with a fingernail on the left hand.*
• The rear facing camera is partly obscured.*
• The power cable port is a litttle trickier to access owing to the intrusive presence of the elastic cord.*
• Some 30% of the speaker grille at the lower left rear is obscured.*
• The headphone socket at top left is completely obscured.*
• The SIM card slot at the right (on iPads with 3G or 4G) is blocked.

Stated differently, the makers need to get off their rear ends and redesign these things to address the above issues, a trivial process. Don’t hold your breath, though – these problems apply equally to iPad 2 and iPad 1, though the latter has no camera to be obscured. It’s not like they haven’t had eons to fix the design errors. The complacency of the manufacturer is not a prescription for its survival.

Just about everything that is wrong with iBallz, here on iPad 3.
Arrow denotes almost buried on-off switch. Also note the partly obscured camera lens.

The redeeming qualities are significant, however. The balls – some sort of hard, matte plastic – are very light. They fit the corners on my iPad 3 tightly. And, most importantly, they provide real protection. I have not had the courage to drop test this on the driveway; be patient, Mother Nature will doubtless provide the data sooner rather than later. Place the iPad down on a flat surface and neither glass or back will touch anything. Further, the balls provide a surprisingly comfortable hold when using the iPad on your lap, meaningfully superior to using it without the balls. In fact, I would miss them were they to be removed. The elastic cord can be pulled pretty tight and lifting the iPad by it causes no concerns, but it remains ugly and out of keeping with the iPad’s design. With the balls fitted it is much easier to lift the iPad from a flat surface with one hand owing to the stand-off, otherwise a risk-fraught exercise made more so by the bevelled edges on iPad 2 and 3. iPad 1 is far superior in this regard. Even with the cord removed, picking up the iPad with just one hand is night-and-day better.

Solutions to the bad stuff: I have cut off the elastic cord, as it’s an awful kluge. They should have dispensed with the sliding lock and simply have spec’d the length of an endless cord correctly, redesigning the balls to bring the cord far closer to the edges of the iPad. I placed a dab of glue on each corner on the back of the iPad to install the balls, using a glue whose residue is easily removed when the date of sale comes.

I have also relieved the top right ball with a Dremel tool to restore the camera function, and to make the on-off switch more accessible. This one has to be glued very carefully as you do not want glue on the camera lens (unless you like Holga-quality images) or on the on-off switch.

The relatively large relief for the camera’s lens is dictated by its wide angle of view.
The on-off switch no longer needs a fingerail to operate. Fit remains tight.

Though the top left ball obscures the headphone socket, I’ll leave that alone as I use wireless, Bluetooth headphones. I’ll leave the lower left ball, the one which obscures the iPad’s speaker grille, unchanged, as that speaker is poor in any case. Headphones are the way to go for quality sound. The obstruction of the SIM card slot is a non issue for me as I do not change SIM cards.

Too bad the balls aren’t even smaller, but it’s a start. The maker claims these fit all three iPad generations. So far I have only tried them on iPad 3. The profile of the slot is clearly intended for the squarer iPad 1, another indicator of the maker’s sloth in not redesigning this for iPad 2 and 3 with their tapered edges. Mine ran $25 from Amazon and alternative colors are available, including pink for the girlie set.

Insurance: This is another alternative, and a costly one. Reckon on $100 for two years of drop, failure and theft coverage. There are two more drawbacks, over and above the cost. One is that the iPad is gone when out for repair – that’s an awful thought. The other is that insurers get rich by not paying claims, so good luck in recovering. The integrity of that business makes the people at the Vampire Squid seem short-listed for canonization, by comparison.

Conclusion: A poorly thought out, poorly engineered, sloppy product which needs a bit of work to make it decent looking and practical. Way overpriced at $25, shipped, but I can’t find an alternative for the $5 this is worth.

A disgusted Bert models the final thing. The Mickey Mouse iPad.

As for screen protectors, save your money. After two years of brutalizing iPad 1 with no case or screen protector, often as not tossed in a bag, the screen remains perfect and with not a scratch in sight. A screen protector, like the Zagg is not only a complete waste of money, the wonderful definition of the iPad 3’s screen will not benefit and chances are you will get bubbles when you install it. Like running a Ferrari on diesel.