Monthly Archives: September 2012

Ralph Lauren Fall 2012

Target audience?

After September’s blockbuster issue of Vogue, October’s comes in at half the weight but included with it is a 78 page Ralph Lauren catalog advertising women’s and men’s clothing. I sat next to Lauren in New York’s La Côte Basque back in 1982 at a client lunch (hey, it wasn’t my money) and I recall thinking how handsome, tanned and short he was. Lauren (net worth $7bn) was born Ralf Lifschitz in the Bronx (net worth $0) and personifies the American success story as only a few dozen others do. Yet despite the near impossible task of emulating him, millions of Americans persist in believing in the American Dream that they, too, can repeat his success. Statistically, of course, this is idiotic, and about as likely as the black ghetto kid becoming the next basketball superstar.

Yet people buy this stuff based on what advertisers classify as the ‘aspirational’ demographic.

Here’s the cover:

Posed with what is presumably one of the cars from his large collection, Lauren looks the picture of the English gentleman, consonant with the image his clothing seeks to project. The casual, well tailored tweeds, the costly vintage automobile, the air of condescending, unattainable wealth.

It gets more intense.

Surely the legs on this stunning beauty, posed against a fireplace in a multi-million dollar castle, are Photoshopped? But no matter. We would all like to be able to either be her or to afford her. But how realistic is that?

Finally, the peak of excess, the huntress in the top hat and bejeweled choker on her stallion. I mean, have you ever owned something which eats while you sleep? And the cost of stable hands nowadays is positively ruinous. OK, so the woman is to die for, the kind which would make a middle aged lothario chuck everything and retain a good divorce attorney.

So while I enjoy the fantasy as much as the next man, not remotely does this sort of advertising make me want to overpay for the label. But it must be working. Lauren has been doing this faux English gentry thing for ever and not for one moment do I think he is foolish with his money.

None of this should discourage you from subscribing to Vogue, (or aspiring) where the photography never ceases to entertain and astonish.

On all fours

The annual dog parade.

As my candidate’s election manager, I have been authorized to disclose a few details to get voters involved. A brief bio of my man:

  • Has never waged war, never will.
  • Has never killed anyone, never will.
  • Makes all he knows feel younger and better.
  • Does not know the evil of discrimination. Treats all men equally.
  • Genuinely loves children, not a photo op thing.
  • Refuses to fly and would immediately sell Air Force One and Two.
  • Has dashing good looks despite his short stature.
  • Adulates physical fitness and is pledged to restoring it to all Americans.
  • Thinks health care is a universal right not a privilege.
  • A native of North Carolina he understands both the North and the South.
  • Eschews guns and bibles. His religion is love and the outdoors.
  • Does not cheat on his taxes.

Yes, dear readers, the candidate is none other than Bert The Border Terrier and you can write him in, come November, under his registered name of ‘Bert T. Border’. He already has my vote.

The Candidate caught in a relaxed moment.

Bert got to hanging out with some of his mates today at the annual Burlingame Dog Parade and his manager was there to document the goings on. I am pleased to present Bert’s cabinet. The Alpacas will handle South American affairs and the guinea pigs will oversee EU finances.

Eh? How did these Peruvian Alpacas get in there?

And guinea pigs? Please ….

Congressional leaders. Always in agreement..

Obligatory sausage dog. The new German ambassador.

Escapee. The former Treasury Secretary.

Two beauties. The Press Spokesman.

The wild bunch. CIA and FBI chiefs.

Dog chateau. These guys lost.

The comedian. Vice President.

A 47 Percenter, but not abandoned.

Alaskan Husky. Foreign Secretary. He uses the glasses in Alaska to make sure he can see Russia.

Small, undaunted. Represents the little people.

Party animals. White House social staff.

Bert T Border’s pick for Chinese Ambassador. Speaks fluent Mandarin and Cantonese.

Rich man’s quality, poor man’s prices. Agriculture secretary.

Two more beauties. A calming influence in the Supreme Court.

Nuts. Our next Treasury Secretary.

Legs. Defense Secretary. Knows when to run.

Oh yeah! Social secretary.

A slice of Americana. The judges. Angry white guys. A small and shrinking minority.

So the above is our campaign commercial. I have checked the Constitution and can confirm there’s no prohibition on dogs running for elected office, at least not the four legged kind. Get the spelling right, please, when writing in the candidate. Vote for Bert T Border come November and bring sanity back to the world.

All snapped on the Nikon D700 with the 85/1.8 AFD, a lens which looks and feels like crap but delivers the goods. A couple of snaps on the 16-35mm Nikon VR G for the wide stuff. Same attributes as the 85mm.

In the Conservatory

A relaxing place.

I make it a point to visit the magnificent National Trust property Filoli frequently, and wander the grounds and do some reading after enjoying an excellent Panini sandwich in the café.

Such a trip washes away the day’s concerns and one comes home recharged. It doesn’t hurt that the journey is all back roads except for a short blast on California’s most beautiful freeway, the 280 on the way down to Woodside.

I generally end my sojourn in the conservatory which has comfortable seating and is a haven of peace and quiet.

The Conservatory at Filoli. iPhone 5.

The iPhone 5 – Part II

An excellent camera.

I wrote about how I believe Apple is managing inventory of the iPhone 5 in Part I.

‘Limited’ as in none. iPhone 4S snap in the Apple Store.

So while there may be a bit of a wait until the floodgates open in Q4/2012, it’s worth it. If you consider your cell phone camera as the one you always have with you, you will want to upgrade.

Let’s retrace. The iPhone 3GS camera was so-so, meaning slow and noisy, as was the one in iPhone 4. Then a quantum leap occurred in iPhone 4S when the sensor jumped to 8 megapixels and the responsiveness of the shutter button was greatly improved. I have already illustrated panoramas using iOS6 in the iPhone 4S and the quality in the iPhone 5 remains excellent. Determined to try out the rumored enhanced low light capability of the iPhone 5’s camera I took it to my country home (aka Filoli – you know, the place my 10 year old son wants to buy) and repaired to the poorly lit interiors.

My first snap startled me. The delay between shutter press and the taking of the picture has been dramatically reduced. I jumped, not expecting this, then proceeded to cycle the shuter as fast as I could. Lightroom 4 reports that I banged off 3 pictures in one second and 4 would have been easily achievable. This compares to maybe 1 per second with the iPhone 4S. It’s quite extraordinary, comparing well with the shutter response in a film rangefinder Leica – where you have to wind the film between snaps – and as good as a better grade DSLR like the Nikon D700, where the cycling rate is comparable in single shot mode. This means the camera is almost directly wired to the photographer’s eye. See an image and snap!, it’s yours.

I determined the optimum import settings in LR4 to be as follows, and saved these to an import preset:

iPhone 5 LR4 import settings.

To reduce noise in big prints these are the related settings:

iPhone 5 LR4 noise settings.

The drawing-room at Filoli. 1/20th second.

The camera was focused on the green vases on the mantlepiece by touching the display at the appropriate location. Though the display is now 16:9, up from 4:3 thanks to the taller dimension, still image files remain 4:3, as before. The original JPG file size is 2.7MB.

Here’s a section which would make a 30″ x 24″ print:

Section of above image.

The develop settings in the two panels above have been applied, together with a little boost from the Clarity and Vibrance sliders. Outstanding.

Now you don’t get the dynamic range available in a RAW file and I did not use the HDR function, though for very high contrast subjects that would make sense.

The camera is now so good that no excuse need be made for large print images. I routinely printed 13″ x 19″ from the 4S and feel confident in saying that 18″ x 24″ with the best images would be easily achieved, no excuses needed.

A friend wrote “I bet Apple has four or five camera prototypes in the lab” after I had shared my findings with him. I so hope that is the case. The design clearly incorporates real world usage needs, not something concoted by the dopes at Fuji.

The main drawback in poor light is that a support is needed. There’s nothing worse than having to hold a camera several inches from your face in a poorly lit room than holding it a foot away from your face. The above image was at 1/20th second, and I got lucky, as it’s razor sharp at the focus point. As with the iPhone 4S, the zoom function, accomplished by ‘unpinching’ – you know, the patented technology Android stole from Apple – will simply make a noisier image, so I don’t bother using it; the same result can be accomplished at the processing stage.

In conclusion, if you are happy with a fixed 33mm FFE lens this is an excellent photographic tool, if not blessed with the greatest ergonomics. Can’t be bothered to drag the monster DSLR along? The iPhone 5 does just fine. I would think that a real optical zoom cannot be too far away. Maybe in iPhone 6?

And before I forget, want to see why any sane SF Bay user should be getting a Verizon LTE iPhone 5 rather than an AT&T one with LTE scarcely to be found? Here are the cellular speeds at Filoli, which is pretty much in the middle of nowhere:

Cellular speeds – Verizon LTE, iPhone 5

In town I routinely get 20MBS download.

Getting out of your AT&T contract: Verizon is known to be very rigid on enforcing contract terms, but AT&T is weak. I had one year left on my 2 year iPhone 4S contract with AT&T and was offered two choices. Cancel the contract for $215 or sell the 4S back to AT&T for $227, then pay $449 for the iPhone 5 on a new 2 year contract. Such a deal. A quick check of eBay disclosed an average selling price of $335 for a 16GB 4S. Mine had some rub marks on one side so I listed it for $295 ‘Buy It Now’ with free US Priority shipping. It sold 60 seconds after listing, net cash to me being some $262, less the $215 contract cancellation payment to AT&T, meaning $47 left. I applied that to my new Verizon 16GB iPhone 5 ($199 + $53 CA sales tax), for a net outlay of $205, which I will deduct as business expense on my tax return. Assuming I have taxable income this year the net after-tax cost is lower still.

Disclosure: Long AAPL, BRCM, QCOM.

The iPhone 5 – Part I

First impressions.

Advice for baristas and starving students regarding the purchase of an iPhone 5 appears here. One word version? Don’t.

For those who can afford the latest toy or who need it for their day job (me!) it’s simply a deductible business expense, and as my business involves being current and fast it’s a no brainer. The monthly fees remain unchanged, and the proceeds of sale of the old AT&T iPhone 4S will pay for the early contract cancellation charge.

First, the secret of snagging one and not paying someone to wait in line for you is to order it at 10pm local time in the US, go to check out and check “In Store Delivery”. Enter your zip and next morning’s inventory status will be reported for all your local Apple Stores. I tried on Monday and no joy, but hit the jackpot Tuesday. Quickly told a friend but at 10:15 his trigger finger was too slow and they were out. The pleasure of shopping in an uncrowded Apple Store is like Tiffany’s, but cheaper. The girls in Tiffany’s, however, now that’s something else …. 10 minutes in and out and I was off to activate the iPhone at the local proctologist’s, err, make that Verizon. Want to know what it feels like to live in North Korea? Visit a Verizon or AT&T store. After three hours at the Verizon Store I was fried, fit to be tied and activated. This after running across the road to the Apple Store for another NanoSIM as VZ fried the first one. Another hour and my old AT&T iPhone 4S number was ported over.

Allow me to enlighten you on the inventory situation. AAPL’s fiscal year ends 9/30/2012 and they have already sold enough iPhones to exceed earnings expectations. Thus there is absolutely no purpose served by having more sales stuffed into Q4. As they can sell all they make, it makes sense to hoard the inventory then put it out Q1/2013, meaning October 1st. It’s the perfect earnings manipulation tool. Further, despite all the journalists’ reports of display manufacturing backlogs, not one iota of credible evidence has surfaced to support this statement. Still, journalists are people who could not get a real job and are fact agnostic. Their driver is clicks. No clicks, no Big Mac.

How does the iPhone 5 feel? In a word, worse than the iPhone 4S. It’s not that the extra height is not welcomed – it is – but the device is too light, feeling like a cheap toy. The 4S feels, well, like a Leica M2. The iPhone 5 feels like any plastic prosumer horror of a camera – like my Panny G3, for example. (In fairness, the G3 is an order of magnitude superior to the M2 in every respect except how it feels). Sure the much vaunted micron fit and finish is great but I cannot tell the difference between 1 micron and 10 microns and nor can you. The fit and finish of the 4S is identical in practice, the glass back nicer, if more fragile than the alloy one now in use in the latest model.

The other thing I fail to understand is who really needs the thinnest phone? Is not better battery life worthwhile for an ounce/millimeter or two? Keep the 4S battery, Apple, make it feel like the 4S and get with the program.Thin really sells that much?

The new connector? Ever tried inserting an USB plug into the desktop tower while grovelling amongst the black beetles with a flashlight? The new connector rocks. It’s reversible. If you are complaining about paying $29 for a spare, get real. An Android phone is just what you need. Good luck with that mini-USB thing. This connector is the bee’s knees.

iCloud now works well. I backed up the 4S to the Cloud and then restored onto the 5 and the whole thing was seamless, though my son’s games took over an hour to restore over wi-fi. And when you see the realism of a game like Infinity Blade you breathe a sigh of relief that the authors are on our side.

I am not going to publish any objective measurements here. Those are all over the web and can be summarized by saying that all app activities are 2-3x as fast as iPhone 4S and 1.5-2x as fast as iPad3, both on paper and in subjective use. Best of all, AT&T’s lying display of ‘4G’ on the 4S (4MBS download speed on a good day) is forever history as the 4S is consigned to eBay. The iPhone 5 has real 4G and handily delivers 20-25MBS every time. In Burlingame, where I live, on the SF Peninsula, Verizon rules, and has 4G towers everywhere. By contrast, AT&T is still looking for its pickaxe and handle to put up towers.

But the sublimest pleasure in the acquisition of an iPhone 5 for this user has nothing to do with the phone. It’s the simple and immensely enjoyable act of firing AT&T. Sure Verizon is no better, but one devil fired just feels, you know, good. In fact, that was the first call I made on it.

More on the camera in practical use soon.

Note to Apple: Please buy a US telco and fire everyone in customer service. Integrate the operation into the Apple Store/Specialists/Geniuses with proper training and bedside manner.

Disclosure: Long AAPL, BRCM, QCOM.