Age

Age. You forget things. That periodic table of elements I could merrily recite from memory down to the 60th element or so a few decades ago now sees me stuck at fifteen. Potassium, if I got that right.

And what with American liability law being what it is, with no one willing to accept responsibility for their actions, can you wonder about surgeons’ approach to tool management as a counterpoint to age? Each instrument is inventoried before and after the operation, in the hope that a scalpel, say, is not left inside the patient when he is sown up. I call this the ‘Surgeon’s Rule’.

This disciplined approach works every bit as well for this aging amateur mechanic, for while the risks are lower and the only person left to sue is yourself when you mess up, accounting for all your tools is no bad thing before exiting the hallowed workspace and flooring the throttle.



The wrench section on the peg board wall.

It is proper inventory management which has long seen me hang most of my tools from pegboards, believing that keeping them in drawers is exactly wrong. So forget those dreams of mega-buck SnapOn rolling tool chests. An utter waste of money. A tool you cannot see is a tool you mislay.

Further, those peg boards are white because not only are the stock brown ones depressing to contemplate, sucking light out of the workspace, white also sets the tools off nicely for ease of location.

The peg boards are attached to pine battens, the latter screwed into the wall studs behind the drywall, using a stud finder. That finder is like a politician, lying much of the time, but you get there eventually. The battens ensure that the whole thing is robust – tools can weigh a lot – and also provide offset from the wall for the hooks, once inserted.

Another dictate is that tools should never be stacked, as the one in the back will be every bit as lost as the one in that rolling cart’s tray. As the image shows I break this rule here and there, for lack of space, but overall it’s what you might style a solid effort.

That image speaks to a disciplined filing approach, if nothing else, yet the Surgeon’s Rule let me down the other day, because I failed to follow it. Check the red circle and there’s obviously a 19mm combination wrench missing. It is now to be found in one of my neighbors’ garages as it was left in place by yours truly when tightening the 19mm bolt on the crossbar which retains my old bike’s engine in the frame. I place one 19mm wrench on the left where it ‘locks’ against the exhaust pipe, then have at it on the other side to loosen the crossbar which allows the frame’s downtubes to separate ever so slightly, in turn making the oil filter cover accessible for removal. Not the greatest design by BMW, but not a big deal in the grand scheme of life.

I did not inventory my tools before riding around the neighborhood when the job was completed and later realized I had left the beautiful French Facom wrench in place when riding off. It fell off somewhere in the vicinity of my home and subsequent desperate searches (heck, any excuse for a ride) failed.

So I had to resort to this – mercifully Amazon stocks German Stahlwhille wrenches, if not the even more lovely French Facom ones:



The replacement.

So the rule here is to follow the Surgeon’s Rule religiously. And never, never, never buy cheap, imported tools. Real wrenches are made by Stahlwille and Facom. Yes, a few more dollars but a lifetime investment and one which will repay the premium paid every time you grasp that beautifully finished surface.

First ride – Fall 2020

The hibernation is over.

Unlike grizzlies, BMW Airhead motorcycles hibernate in the summer, when it’s too darned hot to leave a vintage machine in a 130F greenhouse passing as a garage, here in Scottsdale, Arizona.




Back on May 1, 2020.

So with temperatures finally dipping back into single figures, it was time to get the 1975 BMW R90/6 out of its refrigerated comfort zone and back on the road. Where it belongs.

The Odyssey gel cell battery needed no recharging, having dropped from 13.11 volts to 12.97 volts. On the other hand, the tubed tires did need air, each having lost some 50% of the usual 32/36 pounds in pressure. Easy. Oil? No need to check. German motorcycles do not leak.

So a gallon of high test later – the tank had been drained before indoor storage – a prod or two on the kick starter to get oil to the piston rings, full choke just for the start, a touch on the electric starter button to get that huge, antique Bosch lump of a starter to do its bit, and off we go. Kicking those big twin 450cc pistons into life from cold is no fun. Electric starting is the way to go, introduced in Airheads in 1970.

Nothing, but nothing, beats two motorized wheels.

Meat cleaver

A superior tool for any cook.

For an index of cooking articles on this blog click here.

Over a decade ago I extolled the benefits of a good chef’s knife, writing like many before me that it’s the key kitchen tool.

Well, for the last three years my chef’s knife has seen very little use and I prepare three meals daily. It has been replaced – nay, obsoleted – by this:




A superior tool.

This tool is superior to the chef’s knife in just about every way imaginable. The cutting edge is much further from the fingers. The leverage that can be applied on the broad-topped blade is an order of magnitude greater. Rocking the cleaver over vegetables, like onions, to dice and chop them up is trivial and safe. But as the dents in mine confirm, the last thing you really want to do with this tool is use it for hacking up bones. Yes, the steel is soft, meaning it both blunts and distorts relatively easily. I will gradually wear through my dents, but they remind me not to be silly. You never hammer this down on anything. Make noise with it and you are using it incorrectly. Want to hack up bones? Use a saw.

The blade is very thick which just helps with the impression of control and yes, it just fits the sharpening machine I have now been using happily for over a decade:




In the Chef’s Choice sharpener.

What about the Mezzaluna, you ask? After all, celebrity TV chefs are all over this tool:




An awful, single-use tool. Dangerous, too.

I have to tell you that this is one of the worst conceived single-use tools ever. First, all you can do with it is rock it back and forth on vegetables. Second, the unprotected blade will slice you up when you retrieve it from the drawer where you placed it, because it was just too large to hang on the wall.

And unlike the cleaver, it cannot scoop up chopped material for placement in the skillet (the chef’s knife’s narrow blade is also sub-optimal in this task), nor can you use it to gently crush garlic cloves to permit easy peeling – and subsequent dicing. Fughedaboutit. It’s a solution looking for a problem, strictly for poseurs. And if you think this is the right way to slice up a pizza pie, think again and get a pizza wheel. It’s nice having ten fingers ….

Brand choice for the cleaver? I don’t think it matters. Just do not waste your $100 on a costly, hard steel German one which will be hell to sharpen. Instead, get something like my $25 choice and make sure you have good sharpening hardware available. And make sure your cleaver of choice has a hanging hole in the blade, as you will want to hang it in an accessible spot. After all, you will find you are using it daily.

The cleaver rules. All I use the vaunted chef’s knife for today is to split open large melons or cantaloupes. Point in first, for safety, then rotate.

Smooth that video

A new algorithm.

Back in the early days when founders Brin and Page were mere multi-millionaires, they concluded that it would be chic to adopt the catchy ‘Do no evil’ catchphrase for their company, Google. They then proceeded to do mighty evil on a global scale, stealing and reselling your identity, while maintaining that all their software was free. You, poor sap, were the product, to be sold and resold ad infinitum.

Now that Page and Brin are retired, needing the leisure time to count their ill-gotten billions, Google has actually gone and done something distinctly not evil. “Working with UC Merced and Shanghai Jiao Tong University (they) have detailed the development of DAIN, a depth-aware video frame interpolation algorithm that can seamlessly generate slow-motion videos from existing content without introducing excessive noise and unwanted artifacts.” (The quote is from DP Review).

This algorithm, and the related free software, allows interpolation of frames in low frame rate videos to restore smoothness. At the same time, the code is smart enough to properly treat overlapping and moving elements in the frame. The results are simply stunning, as this video from 1890s Paris – enhanced and colorized, as well as up-frame rated – shows:




Paris, 1890. Click for the video.

Wait a minute. Did I write that Google had momentarily given up its evil ways? Ooops! Now you can interpolate your cheating spouse into that video and, whammo!, a million dollar alimony settlement. Old habits die hard, I guess.

Rollie Free

Motorcyclist.

By any measure it’s the most famous motorcycling photograph ever.

Riding a lightly modified Vincent Black Lightning, a descendant of the iconic Black Shadow, putting out some 85hp from its 1000 cc V Twin motor, the wonderfully named Rollie Free (1900-1984) determined that his racing leathers were costing him speed on previous runs, where he maxed out at 147 mph. So he stripped down to bathing cap, trunks and sneakers and had at it, prone on the machine.




Bonneville, Utah, September 13, 1948. 150.313 mph. Protective gear optional.

Free’s record setting speed was on a machine which you could buy off the shelf. I would guess that the mufflers were removed and the Lightning had slightly hotter cams than the already fearsome Black Shadow.

The V Twin motor was known as ‘The Plumber’s Nightmare’, and you can see why:




Plumber’s nightmare. ‘HRD’ stands for Howard R. Davies, the founder of the Vincent factory.

Reminder, if any was needed, that there are two kinds of British motorcycles. Those that leak oil and those which will. But there was only one Rollie Free.