MAGA.
Morons Are Governing America.
Annie Telnaes, the WaPo cartoonist, does Pig best. That means she shows him red faced, bloated and ready to blow, like the pig he is.
For the story of the original image by Margaret Bourke-White, last referenced here when yet another moron was in the Oval Office melting down the economy, click here.
We are all vegetarians now.
While I have always regarded vegetarianism as something practiced by those with a screw loose, if that’s what is needed to take Pig out of the Oval Office, that’s fine with me.
(Note: The honorific ‘Pig’ is used without a preposition in deference to Pig’s spouse, the Slovenian Slut who, after 30 illegal years in the United States has yet to construct a grammatically correct English sentence).
Here’s the warning:
The murderous bungling of Pig and his sycophants sees to it that not one freezer is to be found in these United States, and that meat supplies are about to disappear from the (mostly empty) supermarket shelves:
Smart folks have bought these up apace, to store their accumulated beef(s). Once those supplies run out, freezers will be selling for cents on the dollar.
Meanwhile, we can all look forward to meat-free Fridays. And Saturdays, Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. The virus may not kill all of Pig’s cretinous supporters, but vegetarianism likely will. For that we should all be grateful,
Doing it right.
This is one of an occasional series on cooking devices which make a difference. For an index of cooking articles on this blog click here.
Few things are more satisfying than a properly cooked egg in its shell, be it soft or hard boiled.
The perfect soft boiled egg is a breakfast staple, but often overcooked and poorly presented. Further, it simply does not do to have hard boiled eggs in an egg cup. Decorum and civilization dictate that eggs in cups be soft boiled and runny. And proper presentation is essential to the whole aesthetic.
You can make these in a pot with boiling water but there are so many variables that your chances of consistent success are remote. Thus, an inexpensive tool is called for. Actually, several tools. Tools convert pretense about ‘art’ into the predictable results dictated by scientific method, the core tenet of all good cooking.
First is the egg maker shown at left. Typically holding up to seven eggs – always broad side down, please – this can be had from any number of vendors for under $20. Mine came with an unreadable, graduated plastic measure for determining the correct volume of water required. It was useless. You need a clearly marked, glass laboratory measure and a syringe to get soft boiled eggs right. The larger measuring cup is used for hard boiled eggs only.
The design of the egg maker is simplicity itself. Water is added to the platen which is then covered with the egg holder plate, eggs are added and the ‘greenhouse’ cover is put in place and the power turned on. The critical thing for a soft boiled, nicely runny egg is the volume of water and ‘critical’ is the right word. The volume of water used determines cooking time. The amount must be right to 5ml or the result will be unsatisfactory. After some experimentation I established that 4 eggs, straight from the refrigerator (forget the gobbledygook about letting them warm up – sheer nonsense) require exactly 175ml of water. That’s where the graduated measure and syringe come in, making accurate measurement of the required volume a simple matter. Your device may vary, so be prepared to experiment.
The key to consistent success is to remove all variables from the equation. Use the same sized eggs from the same source, stored at least overnight in the refrigerator for a consistent starting temperature. And be sure to use the exactly correct volume of water in the egg maker.
The egg maker will pop off after 3-4 minutes when the water has evaporated, thus setting off the thermostat, and you will have four soft boiled eggs. Four perfect soft boiled eggs, every time.
But you are not through.
Topping your eggs to access the runny goodness inside should never, never, never be done with a knife applied to the shell. You will bruise and crack the shell randomly and risk injury into the bargain. The result looks awful. Check the last image below. An egg is one of nature’s most perfect creations and it should be respected as such.
So purchase an ‘egg topper’ – search on those words at Amazon. Mine came in this set – it’s the stainless steel tool removed from its storage cut-out – along with properly sized and shaped spoons. The latter need to be small and slim to properly access the yolk without spillage. Your coffee spoon is not the answer.
The cooked egg is placed, broad side down, in the cup and the tool is placed over the top. The sprung plunger, terminated with the alloy sphere, is retracted and released, whereupon it scores/cuts a perfect circular top on the egg shell. Mine has to be retracted only part way to avoid damage to the rest of the shell, (I marked the optimum retraction distance) and the tool must be carefully removed holding the base of the egg with a cloth. A little practice and you will get a perfectly scored shell top. Now get out that sharp knife – a thin fish boning knife is ideal – and slice through the albumen and flesh of the egg white along with the scored shell part. A properly designed cracker will score the shell just above the yolk. You now have the perfect soft boiled egg, along with high job satisfaction.
As for hard boiled eggs, these are trivial to prepare. Load up all seven if you like, add 1.7 fl.ozs. of water (or the quantity that experimentation indicates) using the large measuring cup in the first image, let the egg maker tool do its thing and you will have seven perfectly hard boiled eggs with none of that disgusting grey ring around the yolk your spouse creates as a result of over-cooking. Soak them in iced water for 5 minutes and you are ready to make salads of your choosing. I have found that the freshest eggs are also the easiest to peel when hard-boiled.
The water in my area has significant mineral deposits which make the egg holder plate and heated platen go a revolting brown after much use. Some medium stainless steel wool cleans things up nicely.
Time to come to our senses.
Neil Irwin is the excellent economics correspondent of the New York Times.
Herewith my comment on his piece today on de-globalization:
Hopefully, history repeats.
Those opening lines of Shakespeare’s Richard III are the most elegant and complex ever penned in English. Replete with metaphor, pun, humor and egotism, they say everything about the speaker, the future Richard III of England, a murderous psychopath whose two year reign came to a sticky end at the Battle of Bosworth Field in 1485. That same battle saw the end of the Plantagenet and York dynasties.
America and the world is now confronted with a like psychopath and murderer, the abomination which occupies the Oval Office. The ‘T’ word, used in this household, is rewarded by a quick exit for the speaker, the front door shown with alacrity. Rather, the only acceptable usage is ‘Pig’, the preposition dropped as a nod to Pig’s appalling spouse, the Slovenian Slut, chest by Dow Chemical.
Why this mention of Richard III?
First, because hopefully history repeats and Pig gets his equivalent of Bosworth Field very soon. Richard’s dying cry of “My horse, my horse, my kingdom for a horse” will be equally apt in Pig language, with the sole change being that ‘horse’ is replaced with ‘lawyer’.
Second, because my son’s Shakespeare studies in his last semester as a senior at prep school are now focused on this finest of plays, one which reminds me of my teen years, for I am vicariously piggybacking on his work.
Those teen years saw me watching Laurence Olivier’s 1955 film of the same title, easily the most chilling performance committed to celluloid. And we will be watching it later this week, ever hopeful that Richard’s fall from his horse is emulated by Pig and his ‘dynasty’ of spawn:
You should watch it too.
A note to Pig voters: This blog is about Photographs, Photographers and Photography. It ordinarily eschews politics. However, at this time of national tragedy, a tragedy whose number of deaths has been compounded by a psychopath masquerading as President, it is every American’s duty to protest loudly and to work for regime change. If you voted for Pig last time and have come around to seeing the error of your ways, all well and good. We all make mistakes. However, if you still fall in the trap of believing that Pig is making America great again and propose voting for him again, not only are you emphatically not welcome here, your very presence disgusts me. Do the right thing. Go elsewhere with your stupidity, your ignorance and your bigotry.