Anonymous writes

Now and then Anonymous soils these pages with his Comments. Or detritus, more accurately.

He is always Anonymous.

After all, would you want anyone to know that your grammar is that of the mean streets, and your mental capacity somewhere around Second Grade?

No problem. Clean up of Anonymous’s leavings takes as long as is required to hit the ‘Delete Comment’ button and life goes on unsullied by life’s losers.

However, now and then, old Anonymous writes something so completely inane, that his nonsense rises out of the field of tragedy and migrates to the truly hilarious. Here, for your amusement, are some of Anonymous’s best:

On my piece about Cartier-Bresson: “All his pictures were posed anyway”.

On Film is Dead (Anonymous had lots of foul mouthed company on this one – the truth hurts): “All digital photographs look alike, anyway, which is why I use film”. “Just because you have gone all digital, don’t expect real photographers to”.

On Make Mine Monochorome: “Yes, color is hard, which is why I use black and white”.

On Losing my (large format) Virginity, where I refer to my Harris Tweed cap and Tartan tripod bag, both purchased when I was one of Her Majesty’s loyal subjects some 30 years ago: “Harris Tweed cap and Scottish tartan tripod bag. You Americans make me laugh”.

On Throw away your lens cap and case: “Unlike you, I keep a lens cap on my pristine Leica at all times to avoid having the sun burn a hole in the shutter”. Guess how many great photographs this one takes.

On Rot which debunks all the silliness about Art poseurs using plastic cameras: “If you weren’t such a bigot you would get a Lomo, a fine (sic) made Russian camera and take some really good pictures”.

On Leicas – this one is a real Dusie: “Would it be to (sic – notice the grade school grammar) bold to speculate that you have never owned a Leica yourself. (sic) If you had you would understand the quality of the camera. There is no mistaking a picture taken with a Leica lens vs. any other brand.” And more from this child: “As to your point about AUTO FOCUS??? (sic) Why would anyone ever, want to use auto focus for any type of professional photograph. (sic). Since you used a car analogy once before perhaps the one I use will sink in. Compare a manual car to a stick shift (huge difference there!). They both will run, however, the stick shift will always go faster when the driver knows how to operate it.” What a pleasure it was to hit the ‘Add to Spam list’ button on that one. Phew!

All happily deleted, their authors added to the permanent spam list. This list not only forever bans these folks from posting here it also bans them from soiling other lists using like spam software as the database of spammers is shared. Neat, huh?

So, Mr. (and Ms.) Anonymous, keep ’em coming and we will be pleased to add you to our list, allowing all and sundry to join us in a good laugh. But think twice first as you may just be excluded from many other blogs. On second thoughts, just hit the ‘send’ button and do us all a favor.

Stop wasting Time – Part I

You need some woodworking done in your home. Two laborers show up bidding to do the work. One brings with him only hand tools. Not a motor or power source in sight, save his well developed biceps. The other comes with an assistant and every power tool known to man. Both come recommended, so you know the quality of the work is not an issue.

Which do you choose? The romantic aspects of the craftsman with the brawny arms notwithstanding, you obviously choose the man with the power tools and the assistant. He will be faster, his work more dimensionally accurate and less of your precious time will be taken up with the sawing and hammering that ensues. Plus it will cost you less.

In that example the value of your time is irrelevant as you are not doing the work in either scenario.

Now translate the problem to one of making photographic prints. You pride yourself on traditional darkroom techniques, you set up your darkroom, prepare the quickly aging chemicals and potter about in the dark, shading here and burning there, never quite sure how it will turn out, the while praying that little Johnny will not come into your miserable, smelly work area and destroy yet another box of printing paper.. You are automatically constrained to monochrome, of course, because it is beyond any rational person’s effort to home process color prints using traditional chemical means. So right there you have excluded 99% of your audience. When all is done and the print fixed, you pray it will look something like what you want when the light is switched on (you did put the unexposed paper away first, didn’t you?) and luckily, even if it does, your are still faced with the task of washing the prints in an attempt to render them permanent, drying, glazing, and on and on. You have retained the artisan with the hand tools.

You and the artisan have failed to notice one key thing about life. Technology has moved on. Both of you have unconsciously placed a very low value on your time.

The power tool photographic worker, meanwhile, having established a well rehearsed routine, has used Photoshop or whatever his application of choice is, done what dodging and burning is needed, removed dust spots (he only needs to do this once, ever, while the artisan must do it on every print) and spooled out twenty print jobs to his computer and left it to print while getting on with other more important things. Like taking more photographs.

The power tool worker’s level of retouching and corrections is infinitely superior and his prints are all identical. Exactly, you say, see, they are all identical. No two of my prints are ever alike. Obviously not. Your are technically incapable of making identical prints as your technology is inept. Making prints that look different is nothing more or less than a statement of your incompetence and refusal to recognize that times have changed. And they have changed for the better.

You tell yourself that none of that makes any sense, of course, as your traditional darkroom print is so much better. Of course, it is impossible for you to make that statement, as you have never mastered the modern technology of the computer print, but it makes you feel self satisfied and happy. Your time, in other words, is worth very little.

The reality is that not only is your print not better than the ink jet worker’s, you produce one for every twenty or thirty his modern machinery outputs. His artistic output is thus many times yours, his chances of acceptance and success commensurately greater. Worst of all for you, the artisan, is that the consumer cares not how the print was made. He just cares about the result. Unless you are showing your work to those sad souls who collect equipment and cannot take a picture to save their lives (why would you waste your time doing that?), believe me, no one will ever ask you what camera you used or – I mean how comical – inquire whether this is a chemical or ink jet print!

You already have a computer or you would not be reading this. Supremely competent ink jet printers are available for under $100. Photoshop Elements retails for a similar amount unless it happens to come free with your printer.

Then, when you become supremely successful, the resulting tripling of your time for photography certainly enhancing your prospects greatly, you can delegate all printing to some poor toad who does this for a living and get rid of the printing drudgery for once and all.

Quality Time with Ansel

It must have been back in 1999 when good fortune caught me staying at The Inn on Spanish Bay just up the road from the links at Pebble Beach. Few places offer more breathtaking vistas and opportunities for relaxation. When you next stay there, I greatly recommend the squid special, black ink and all, and that bagpiper chap playing at sunset, praying a gust of wind will not disclose all.

Anyway, as is the wont of ladies in overpriced neighborhoods, my better half went shopping (ouch!) while I strolled the few yards from the front door of the Inn to the grandly named Weston Gallery. A very sincere young man, schooled in the world of sales, immediately buttonholed me and asked my interest. I did not have the heart to disabuse him of his evident belief that Ansel Adams should replace at least one, maybe two, members of the Holy Trinity, so rather than saying ‘Anything But Adams’ I ventured that I rather enjoyed American landscape photography of the west. Noblesse oblige, and all that.

Well, drat, it didn’t work. I was marched over to the Adams Collection, the salesman doubtless eyeing my less than pristine Levi Button Fly Shrink to Fit Jeans, and wrongly concluding that I was another in a long string of Silicon Valley venture capitalists off for a day or two to blow some serious coin. Sadly not the case. Yes, it must have been 1999, for memory suggests that 2000 was not the happiest in history for Silicon Valley, and I was feeling pretty happy at the time, pre-ticker shock.

Now, I first began to smell a rat, nay a giant size capybara, when this smug twit pulls on a pair of cotton gloves, proffering a matched set to me. Now I know that parting photography collectors, excuse me, investors, from their hard-earned dough requires something akin to surgical precision, but I was a tad confused as to what the devil I was to do with these gloves.

Kind of when a friend asked me to belt up in his racing Cobra. I looked at the darned belts with confusion, having seen nothing like them before. “Standard Simpson racing belts” he intoned with the bored air of one who has seen it all before. Do I knot these things together or what? I remember thinking. Only when he made a dive for my crotch – a troubling moment indeed as I never suspected he was one of Those – did I realize these things come up through the legs and buckle together from all directions over the very part my old mum used to afford me sustenance through before I first saw this wonderful world.

Anyway, being offered those cotton gloves caused that same momentary look of fear to cross my face. Was I going to be asked into a dimly lit back room next? Mercifully, El Twit donned his by way of example so I dutifully followed suit, making nary a complaint that my fingers were about two inches too long for what was offered. Discretion, in this case, was surely the better part of valor. I think I sort of pulled it off by affecting an air of insouciance while struggling in a manly way with the wretched gloves.

So there we are, The Twit and I, standing in the Weston Gallery, cotton gloves and all, when he starts pulling prints from a drawer. Each, you should know, was some 5”x7”, matted with acres of white and separated from its neighbor with a sheet of something. Acid Free, I was immediately assured Oh! says I. No hallucinogens in this joint, even when it comes to the price tag. Bother!

Now much as I would die happy never seeing one of these again, there they all were. Half Dome, the fake Moonlight Hernandez (you know, the one taken in broad daylight with poor old AA spending hours dodging and burning in his darkroom, but forgetting to get rid of the shadows cast by the gravestones in the bright sun), the one of Bridal Veil Falls, the absurdly over-filtered Monolith, and many others I shudder to recall. You would think the purifying qualities of monochrome would at least filter out the worst lapses of taste, but Adams managed to hurdle that barrier with supreme ease. Can you say Monochrome and Garish in one sentence? Because, believe me, seeing these ‘originals’ made me realize he had accomplished something his books only hinted at. Loud Monochrome. How so poor a collection of over-manipulated fakes could manage to fit in one drawer boggles the mind, but El Twitto was saving his best, his killer sales line, for last.

“And here Sir is our finest masterpiece from the Ansel Collection”. Needless to say, it was yet another print of Half Dome. But wait a minute, how do I break it to this chap short in grey matter that the print was yellowed and faded? Now I liked the look – at least half the garishness had almost disappeared. “Seems a bit different from the one you showed me earlier”, I offered. “Yes, Sir” responds the sycophantic nonentity, “this print was made by Mr. Adams himself, no less”.

“Oh”, says I, “How do you know?”. Well, that was a bit like calling the Queen German. It may be true, but it is not said in polite company.

“Sir, please”, he intoned, wrist held just so, “It’s our job at the Weston Gallery to know”.

Well, in true civilized manner, I quickly steered the conversation to the weather and isn’t it really lovely here and where would you recommend for dinner?

Sadly, he wasn’t buying it. “Well, sir, what do you think of the Ansel print?” A familiarity available only to those who have never met the famed subject of their dreams. “At $15,000 we think it very attractively priced for an investor like yourself who obviously appreciates fine art.” And to think I could get the really garish one for a mere five large.

Now you must understand that this Weston Gallery is not a place to admit to color lightly. White walls, El Twitteroony all in white, white flowers even. When you see that much white you know sticker shock cannot be far behind. Nonetheless, the vivid shade of green I had just acquired contrasted quite nicely with the foul yellow of this appalling print held in Twitterino’s becottoned manglers.


Home of The Twit

So I quickly pulled out that old line which is a curse to salesmen everywhere. “Oh! it’s really quite special, I agree, but let me check with the wife and get back to you”. The power of agency. Always blame someone else. I would love to, but…. Look, I Really love it, but the old ball-and-chain, you know. Got to check with the little lady. Can’t rob the grocery money. So I leg it out of there, shedding cotton gloves right and left and quite possibly setting a new World and Olympic record for the 100 metres.

Why, oh! why, do fully half of all art photographers want to imitate something so bad? Have they not the courage to recognize poor darkroom work and worse photography when they see it? Or is it just the comfort of hordes? Don’t rock the boat and no one will notice. The way to fix art photography? Ban all cameras from Yosemite.

Look, if you love Adams’s work well and good. Ask yourself why and don’t expect everyone else to.

If all else fails, Make Mine Monochrome.

It’s high time we got off the “Monochrome is Art” bandwagon and learned to use Color.

When I was a kid growing up in London, all I used in my Leica, representing some 95% of my worldly assets, was Tri X. Monochrome film. Easy to buy, easy to process, lots of exposure latitude for my wonky exposure meter and not least of all, very macho. Every street ˜shooter™ (that foul word had not yet been applied to photographers) used Tri X. It was a rite of passage. The quirky fellows with the strange odor used HP3 and HP4. You avoided them.

But none of these was the primary reason I used monochrome. The real reason was that it was cheap and cheap was all I could afford. The idea that you could use color never entered my mind. Economically prohibitive and why would you want color when street work dictated monochrome? Why, could Brassai, Kertesz, Cartier-Bresson and Erwitt all be wrong? Of course not. They were Masters. Gods, beyond criticism. Look to points west and further confirmation that Monochrome was Where It Was At could be readily obtained from its American boosters. Adams, Weston, Cunningham, Callahan, Stieglitz, Steichen, the list goes on and on. And while one or two of these would eventually venture into color, they would forever be known for their black and white work. Their subject matter might be the landscape and the nude, but their vision was monochrome. Goodness help us. A monochrome woman….

Then a couple of strange things happened. A great British photographer named Anthony Armstrong-Jones popularized the idea of very grainy pictures, in black and white, of course, whether in his fashion magazine work or in social commentary pieces. Another great British photographer named Sarah Moon, who wisely chose to make Paris her home, followed up on the idea when GAF/Ansco introduced its wildly grainy GAF 500 color slide film. Suddenly, in this world of Seurat redux, pointillism was back and all wrinkles and imperfections disappeared into a gentle haze of colored dots. But there was a photographer far more important than either of these, as regards the history of color, and that photographer was Eliot Porter.

Porter was a devotee of color almost from the beginning, most famously garnering Ansel Adams’s scorn for his adherence to this new medium. Porter, not a voluble man, famously said “I believe that when photographers reject the significance of color, they are denying one of our most precious attributes – color vision.” Porter may not have changed our view of landscape photography, but his vision of the beauty and infinite complexity of nature changed the way we see. If we care to see.

Let’s just make a seismic shift, for a moment, to the mathematical work of Benoit Mandelbrot. Quoting from his paper presented to the Society for Chaos theory in Psychology and the Life Sciences, presented at Berkeley in June, 1996:

Fractals, as all present know, are irregular geometric objects that yield detail at all scales. Unlike Euclidean, differentiable, objects that smooth out when zoomed into, fractals continue to reveal features as more closely regarded. Fractals also have “self-similarity” which, in one meaning refers to the presence of parts that resemble the whole, or to the continual repetition of a feature. Benoit Mandelbrot not only invented the term fractal, but advanced the position that fractal geometry is the geometry of nature. Eliot Porter, the nature photographer, upon reading of Mandelbrot’s work, realized he had been taking pictures of fractals in nature for decades. To promote the point, he produced a collection of photographs for a book titled Nature’s Chaos.

I do not doubt that there is no more important body of work, when it comes to our fundamental appreciation of nature and of color photography, than that of Eliot Porter. Porter made color respectable for the art photographer. It is that simple.

OK, back to the simpler world of situation comedy, beer advertisements and SUVs.

Now it’s time to ‘fess up.

Take one of your color pictures, you know, one of those not good enough to boast about, but not bad enough to throw away. A decent but not a great picture. You know the one. We all have many to choose from. They are the bane of us photographers. Too good to lose, too bad to print, the result being that we keep the disk drive manufacturers, the album makers, the storage sleeve specialists in business for no good reason other than, were we brutally honest, we would simply throw these mediocrities away.

OK, so you are a sane modernist. You may not have gone the whole digital hog, but you are smart enough not to waste time in a darkroom, preferring the civilizing light of nature. You prefer, in other words, Porter’s world. You scan those mediocre negatives and ruminate over them in Photoshop. Now that insanely complex application happens to have a ˜Desaturate’ option in one of its many tediously detailed menus. Don’t fight it. It’s under Image->Adjustments->Desaturate. Click. Yes, Siree Bob!, you have made monochrome from color. Gold from dross. Art from a snap.

C’mon. Admit it. You have done it. Or you have thought about doing it. Because Monochrome is for artistic simpletons. Two dimensional thinkers too constrained in their cages, too bound by convention, too attuned to mediocrity, to think that anything other than black and white, B&W, monochrome, sepia, platinum toning, etc., etc., can be Art.

I think back over five hundred years of painting. From Ucello and Giorgione, via Raphael and Velasquez, through the Impressionist and the Fauves, to the modern day. Not one, not a one of them painted in monochrome. Why? Because there was no cost difference and because patrons regarded monochrome as the province of the poor. The dictate of the sketch. The conté crayon drawing. The pencil rendition. The idea for a painting.

So stop fooling yourself. You can no longer justify it, as I did, on grounds of cost. The very fact that you are reading this on your computer places you in the top 1% of the world’s income bracket. You can afford color. But your excuse is simple. I Am An Artist, you say. What you mean is that you are not good enough for color. Because you cannot handle it. It’s just one variable too many as you avoid making the effort.

Color is hard.

But, as Porter reminds us, color vision is one of our most precious attributes.

Really Large Prints

Big is good.

Something wonderful can happen when the print is much larger than seems reasonable.

Apropos my toe in the water of large format photography, I found myself in a gallery of photographic prints in one of the many charming coastal towns near my estate in central California. A pleasant ride some 25 miles away on Highways 46 and 1, especially on a fine German motorcycle, no excuse is needed for a trip on a summer’s day.

This particular gallery is home to the work of just one photographer, with content limited to the Large Landscapes of the great American West. Now I do not particularly care for his work, hence my reticence in identifying the spot. However, befitting the grandeur of those vistas, the prints on display are truly huge, as large as anything seen outside the world of the delivery trucks used by the supermarket chains, replete with 10 foot high tomatoes.

What makes the prints apparently larger than they really are – sizes range up to 40″ x 60″ – is that the gallery space is fairly long and narrow, making it difficult to stand far back enough to make the whole thing in. Thus, you are forced in close. After the first shocked reaction at the sheer size of the prints, one starts to realize they are really quite effective in conveying some of the grandest landscape anywhere. California, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada – this is landscape writ large. Who knows what Wagner might have been inspired to write were he a Californian….

There is a mixed reaction of techno-shock – My Goodness, those things are Sharp! – and the deafening sound of early warning bells – How Gauche! – to so over-enlarge a photograph. Large format photography is at work here.

Now the old estate is amply provided with large expanses of walls the better to display art. True, you are more likely to encounter a Seurat or Degas sketch on its walls, maybe some noodlings by Matisse, a Rothko here and there, but that’s in no way a commentary on the world of the photograph. Show me a good one and up she goes. Amazingly, I found myself revisiting the gallery in question several times, once with my three year old whose power of appreciation and observation I value greatly.

So what do these very large prints have to teach us? Simply this. They are involving. Once you get over the shock of their sheer size, you find yourself drawn into the landscape. You are one with it. You step back, pushing against the opposite wall to try and grasp the whole. You step in and wonder at the fine filigree of leaves and branches and grasses which define the whole. You ruminate on the wonder that is nature.

Anyway, this experience a few months ago, spurred in no small part by my boy’s repeated ˜Wows” in the gallery, caused me to make an upgrade in the default print size I adopt when showing my work to friends. For as long as I can remember that has been 8″ x 10″. Why on earth 8″ x 10″? Lethargy. Laziness. Lack of original thinking. Because they make it that way. Because it (used to) fit the print washer. Because the ink jet handles it easily. Because the computer is fast processing it. Because mats come in the right size inexpensively. Because frames are available anywhere.

Ice Cream. Mamiya 6. A Really Large Print.

So for the past few months I have disciplined myself to make one 18″ x 24″ print every day. My excuse is that that’s as big as my printer will make. Not large by the standards of that gallery but Boy, oh! Boy, you should see the look on friends’ faces when you hand them one.

Go ahead. Keep it! Now you have a memento, not just a photograph. And is that not why we take pictures? To make something lasting?

Try making some Really Big Prints really soon. Once you get over the technical challenges maybe you too, like my three year old, will say Wow!